In, out, in, out

In, out, in out….

 

            She breathes in the sharp cold air as she floats down the street being carried by her new Nike running shoes. Faster and faster until she’s choking on her own spit. Keeled over coughing and spitting the thick gob of mucus because she can’t take it down her throat without feeling like she’s gonna suffocate. Upright again, she walks down the street, rubbing her chest with her little fingers. Her small, cold fingers. The frozen air makes her chest ache to the point that she thinks, “this is what death feels like”. Yeah, this is what it feels like when you drown or you’re suffocated. It burns. A good deep burn down her throat, into her chest, filling every air sac in her lungs. Again she runs….

 

In, out, in, out….

 

            She takes in every house and apartment and statue and crack in the sidewalk as she glides across the pavement. Stopping at a little concrete slab, with a bench, a little metal bench, to look over the city. Her home. The vastness of it all was breathtaking, or was that the air? The chilly, choking air that won’t warm up as it fills her up. Down the hill, her apartment nestled among the skyscrapers, with her tables and her chairs and her couch and her kitchen and the love of her life. All nestled together in a warm little 800 square foot ecosystem. What is the point of being out in the freezing cold, looking over a city that doesn’t look back when he is waiting at home for her. To their home she goes….

 

In, out, in, out….

 

            Her breath is getting warmer and her spit it getting thinner and her feet are getting lighter. She takes off down the hill, away from her neighbors who pretend that they know her and share some bond with her. With their half million dollar condos and their Audis parked on the street they pretend to know the girl from down the hill. Always pretending to know the people that share their sidewalks and restaurants and parks. They pretend to know her and she pretends to care when they say hello. It’s all just a game of pretend anyways right?

 

In, out, in, out….

 

            Into her apartment. Out of the cold. Into her warm little nest. Out of sight of the pretending, pretentious neighbors from up the hill. Into the tender embrace of the one whose heart beats in rhythm with hers. Out of her clothes. Into their bed. Out of control. Into his love. Out of her mind. Into happiness. 

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