Let’s Go Bowling



The sport that has spawned a complete culture of its own. From cult movies like The Big Lewbowski to multi-national competitions, the sport has taken over the world. What is it about continually rolling a ball down that makes it so addicting? It is the feeling of slipping on some throwback bowling shoes that have been worn by generations of people before you. It is the connection of body to ball when that colorful, weighted gem is nestled tightly in your hand just before you sling it with precision down the lane. It is the friendly competition between people who share a common love of bowling. It is drinking, lots of drinking. Recently, I have let my obsession with bowling take over. Being an avid fan of The Big Lebowski, I decided to start acting out my favorite scenes from the movie. With a white russian in hand, I have worked to perfect my roll, but never on shabbos of course. In an epic quest to evolve from Donnie into the Dude, I have been a frequent visitor of my neighborhood bowling alley. Soaking in the scents, sounds, and scenery I succumb to the superb sensations of the sport. Whether I win a game or lose a game, I am always ready to walk back into the alley and play again as soon as I leave for the night. In my pursuit of bowling perfection, I have compiled a list of rules that one must follow in order to insure success in the game. I will call this, the Walter Sobchak way. The rules are as follow: 

Number 1: Don’t ever go over the line…or you will be marked zero. 

Number 2: This is not Nam, this is bowling. There are rules….Follow them!

Number 3: Never take advice from Donnie, he’s out of his element.

Number 4: Pacifism is not something to hide behind….be aggressive 

Number 5: Never, and I mean never, bring a pomeranian bowling.

Number 6: Respect the Shabbos

Good luck in your quest to enter into a dude-like state. If any help is needed, you know where to find me.


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